It's hard being left behind. I wait for Henry, not knowing where he is, wondering if he's okay. It's hard to be the one who stays.
I keep myself busy. Time goes faster that way.
I go to sleep alone, and wake up alone. I take walks. I work until I'm tired. I watch the wind play with the trash that's been under the snow all winter. Everything seems simple until you think about it.
Rainy days always have this effect on me. They make me feel cold, make me feel extra sensitive. Makes me feel lonely. It has some magic that never fails to make me feel lonely.
Being only human, feeling lonely means I'll feel extra needy. I could use a little hug, maybe a little cuddling, be it from a friend or from a lover. Just to feel better. It's this sense of support that I need, on a rainy day.
"Aiya, Singaporean girls set their standard so high, where we stand?"
Familiar? This phrase may be the top excuse for Singaporean man for being unable to find a local partner.
In recent years, more than more Singaporean man have been diverting their love to our Asian neighbours. Malaysian women, Thai women, Vietname women, and not forgetting our most popular Miss China.
Our government may be promoting foreign talent, but are we promoting foreign wives and babies too? Even though the government had set certain benefits for true blue Singaporean couples, such as priority in getting HDBs, primary school queue priority for children whose parents are both Singaporeans, it is not stopping our boys to divert their attention to our foreign ladies.
And so our men conveniently pushes the entire blame to us. But are we ladies all to blame?
Whatever I'm going to say next is not about ALL Singaporean man. I'm not stereotyping men, just talking about a handful of male Singas.
First and foremost, what is your main motive in looking for a woman? Visiting nightclubs, discos, looking for ladies, to ogle at their curves, fantasizing at every cleavage and over exposed thigh. They don't go such places and spend such money looking for a girlfriend. They clearly know that whatever catch they get tonight, is just gonna be a fuck buddy. Maybe not even a buddy, just a Fuck&Run case. Love is not for sale.
I have seen men comparing all the nightclub ladies, boobs size, waist size, height. Hell they can even estimate their flexibility by observing the way they dance. Saying how pretty and hot they are. And once I posted a question to them, "Why don't you ask them to be your girlfriend?" And the response I get? "Siao ah, come this kind of place to find girlfriend?" I am not surprised.
To look for a fuck buddy, 她只需要上的了床. To look for a girlfriend, 她要进的了厨房,出的了天堂,还要上的了床.
Sometimes I wonder who is the one that sets the standard high?